"I never make predictions, and I never will." Paul Gascoigne

The world of football is replete with characters - many of which are endlessly quotable. Whether it's manager, Bobby Robson, saying: "We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought." or player, Mark Draper, musing: "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." There's the Notts County chairman who said: "Most of the people than can remember when we were a great club are dead." Even officials get in on the act - lineswoman, Wendy Toms, warned: "If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice as hard for them." Among football commentators, John Motson's gaffes are legendary. Who can forget: "The goals made such a difference to the way this game went."?

F is for Football celebrates footballing anecdotes, stories and quotes. Its 132 pages are packed with amusing one-liners, blunders and indiscretions. There are footballing jokes such as: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and a jet engine? A jet engine eventually stops whining. And there are several pages devoted to football chants, some rude but some clever: Où est Cantona?, Say où est Cantona? was sung by Chelsea fans after Cantona had left Leeds.

If it's amusing and it's about football, it's in this book. Divided into six chapters and with a foreword by Bob 'the Cat' Bevan, F is for Football has the added attraction of witty cartoons by Steve Gammond and Peter Neame.

Please note: F is for Football contains strong language.